In 2005ish i started to do SOS lay legal work for other parents. Almost always unpaid...
I am VERY good at listening to their pain anguish, FOR the true story....and after sometimes days listening, asking them nicely not to keep repeating the same stories of wishing the other dead.... and THEIR faults, never their own....... get it into a superb statement to put to a court or authorities (Stalinist SS or the like...) always nice 'SOFT LANDING' prose...
As of late 00s every single parent wished to use the words regarding the other parent, in the title..
I started to say "every parent who ever speaks to me - both sexes, more women than men actually, always now accuse their exof those words....so if EVERYone is one of those things, dont you think it all rather cancels itself out....how about we leave those words for the true expert people, for real psych analyses...not that the judge will call for that"
nope...
no one can listen.
And then over the years, undoubtedly from the absurd facebook groups that grew, full of endless tales of self diagnosing increasingly more complex traits in others.... [ to make the poster look good], it became impossible.
I gave up.
Now the definition of NOT being a 'narcissist' - well that is easy....
Of late spending a while with a true 'VICTIM' of parents that every single line of my own work in public (VIA courts - this case) was designed to attempt to improve, educate etc....is to state i know it was ALL a total mad narcissistic failure. To imagine Esti's peace treaty, and openness may in fact in any way positively influence the masses, was psychopathically, axemurderish, fruitloop.... of me.
Because it is the culture - increasingly nuttier soaps, etc etc...which is lowest common denominator, then a generation (ecstavy etc) made non human by the chemicals of their youth.... then the smartphone... that simply made none of this in truth, valid...
Parents CANNOT not alienate; parents cannot keep to written agreements - really lovely ones in child centred THOMAS PAINE style language....
I am the greatest failure of all time.... should be arrested for thinking a rational approach may have not just wasted everyone's time....
But i do know....one thing...only
The saddest 'net result' of a worst possible, dysfunctional abusing family...even years on.... if i can somehow 'persuade' her... walking the hills is the only way FORWARD... to at least partly inner peace....
that, like the above - below, is the best advice, at the time... available
" there isnt much signal...[so why on earth keep texting!!!?]"But i also know... no disrespect at all - know where the gateposts are that's the key: a child abused child (or any real trauma) even years on, simply cannot...is not capable, of listening...
SO i have no idea how future parents can be reasoned with... as fixing all that takes years of real good therapy....and it is inconceivable this bankrupt nation could ever afford even half of it
i am leaving...did my best... attuned to the 'signs' in others.... this is the pandemic one may really worry about... i am bulletproof, but they are all too dangerous for me...especially faux 'new age' smiley ones who go and fake it in Hay-on-Wye and surrounds.... dystopia..i know i did their REAL personas in their legal cases...
And no, these truly terrible behaviours in families that lead to so much real 'mental health' issues that may last decades...are NOTHING like as bad in all other European societies... even America may be weirdly a bit more sane than UK in all this....
And the mental health fallout of any stress in the family home in younger years is for LIFE...only fools say otherwise
ask any farmer about one of her flock raised in stressing circs... for life....